Hello, Welcome to my Café May 7, 2010Posted by Hope~Sama in Cafe Lounge.
add a comment
In every Story, there is always a beginning..—
Hello and Welcome, This is the beginning of a Journey through the many Adventures and Trials i might have.
Of those Adventures, many different paths and memories are to be made and from here starts the recording of those events.
I hope that you enjoy your stay as you share in my experiences whether they may be ups or downs. So thank you for visiting and i hope that you may come back again soon.
In every Story, there is always a beginning..
However, there is no predictable ending, Only what you make of it.
Conversations in the group chats- November 13, 2016Posted by Hope~Sama in Cafe Lounge, Entertainment Room.
Tags: chats, friends, personal
add a comment
And here we have a special edition of, “Conversations in the group chats”. A random collection of amusing and interesting quotes and conversations among either me, my friends, me and my friends, or just randomness in our group chats.
Today’s highlight is:
ZT – Yesterday at 1:42 PM
Got my first crazy of the day.
Some lady says that the tables are so dirty, she thinks she got herpes.
RD – Yesterday at 1:45 PM
She got herpes from the table? Did she drop trow and scootch on it?
ZT – Yesterday at 1:47 PM
I guess my cleaning the tables gave her herpes. :U
X – Yesterday at 2:12 PM
you should have said to her… congratulations for having the gift that keeps on giving -w-;;
or… “Congratulations!!! you won!!”
Another chapter in your life, another year gone by. January 17, 2015Posted by Hope~Sama in Cafe Lounge.
add a comment
A wondrous day indeed, all i pray for is that i will be able to see your smile at the end of it.—
Today is a special day for you S——-, and even though you might not be too excited about it i guess my excitement makes up for it lol.
I want to wish you the best in all that is yet to come.
To wish you the best of the worse that may befall upon you.
I wish that you might smile at least once every single day, even if there was frustration or sadness or tears. That maybe i could help lift you out of it if you wished me to do so.
I pray that your pains and sorrows might be eased, that you would never dwell in the doom that comes your way. That the light will shine through and take all that darkness away.
I hope for your life to be filled with lots of love and appreciation because no one deserves to feel hopeless or unloved, Especially you.
I wish you happiness and success in what you may attempt to accomplish. That your hard work would never go unnoticed.
I pray that your health would be well and even better than it ever has been, that you would be exuberant and energetic as i know you could be. That life may not bore you and you would feel warmth in your heart, clarity in your mind, and strength in your spirit to keep you moving forward.
Many things that will arrive in your life this coming year, this is the beginning of another chapter.
Although i have not truly fully known you for more than a single year, i am thankful and i am honored to have been a part of your life. A part of that chapter and a part of this new one that is about to unfold. I will be here and a part of it for as long as you wish me to be, and even if you wished to part ways i would still be here thinking of you and praying for your well-being. You are a part of my life forever, thank you for letting me be in this journey of yours.
I hope that i can bring you smiles and laughter for as long as i’m sharing this path of yours in your life. Your story will continue on and i am glad to be a part of it. Just as you are a part of my journey, your presence is an important part of my life.
As the past drifts away we will never fully forget the memories and events that slowly built up to this day and the next and even years from now. After all, it is those very things that made us what we are today and we should cherish them. Whether good or bad, sad or upsetting.. All of the memories are locked away in the pages of our story. The many chapters that add up to this wonderful journey, tragic story, and crazy adventure.
Building many more amazing chapters to your life each and every day, thank you for letting me be a part of it.
~Such is the day that you came to exist, it is quite special and i feel that is right.
I feel that a celebration is in order, i do insist. As this is the anniversary of which you took your first breath of life.~
Happy Birthday S– — <3
The view I see in the distance, in the horizon. December 31, 2014Posted by Hope~Sama in Cafe Lounge.
add a comment
As a storm continues raging all you can do is wait for it to pass, right..? Maybe i’ll keep waiting for you then.—
So as this is pretty much the last post of this year as the time counts down closer and closer to the dawn of our new year. I begin reflecting on all that has happened thus far, just as i have been reflecting at least for this entire last month. With the many troubles clouding my mind i am trying my best to keep positive and hold onto the warm happy blips amongst the issues. I want to be able to bring a smile, to bring happiness, to all those whom i cherish dearly.
A few people in my mind, in my thoughts, as i reflect this night.
S-, N-, T-, Z- . You all are in my thoughts and prayers. I hope this year brings you all clarity and relief from all of your problems that you may come across. And despite all of my weaknesses (which i am grateful to have friends like you to listen and care about me. I wish there was a word i could call you all that is higher than that because to me you guys are like family.) I am always ready to listen and be here to help you just as you help me. Raise your spirits as you raise mine. Laugh and smile together and enjoy each-others company. There are many many numerous things i could possibly say but i think i would be sitting here for hours talking about them, and i am sure that many of the things i would probably blank on being able to explain when there are things that are best explained in person. I hope that you will allow me to record all of these memories we share. To remember each one fondly, because those are the things that make me continue onward each day. May we never lose touch, may we always be close, may we always be near no matter the distance between us.
As well as my bonds that i hold dearly to my heart, i look toward the future and wonder what it holds for me. Thinking of the things that could, should, and possibly would happen. Things i hope, wish, desire as well. I hope this coming year brings those things to me. If it does so, i would grasp and hold them with care and never wish to let go.
May the things in the near future be eased worries, may there be clarity through the fog and mist that seems to be blocking the horizon. May the sun’s warm rays pierce through the clouds and clear that fog and mist as the new dawn rises.. as i stand there looking endearingly toward the near future to be. With new hopes and new paths to open, knowing i wont be walking down them alone but with those whom i cherish dearly.
There are many things i am hoping and praying that this new year will bring, many of which would change perspectives and worlds around. I hope for the better, and with that i look forward to building many more wonderful memories to capture and remember in my heart and mind. There are many things i wish to do, many things i may be able to do easily where others are not so much. I still hope i can strive for the more difficult ones because those are the ones i feel much desire to obtain. Either way however, i will be happy and continue trying.. moving onward through this year.
I suppose lately i have been writing rather serious and emotional things than the fun silly things i once used to. I hope i can go back to do those things from time to time because i’m sure that despite them being silly writings, it was nice to have silly things to talk about and reflect on. I had been neglecting to talk about various subjects for much too long in my opinion and i feel its time to try and bring myself and others up to speed with what i have been up to and what i have been thinking of rather than the random blips of emotion being spilled upon paper. I have been wanting to put random screenshots and stories from the games i play(ed) and other silly things i do in real life. (like the various projects i had worked on and even gifts i made for friends and family.) I would love to begin recording these memories more because i want to have something to share with the people i care about. And if ever were there something to happen to me, my words would live on and they can look at all i have been saying while i was around.
Journals of the Journey in my life, the various paths i have taken as well as many people i have met. I want to remember it all.
So to note as a final thought, May the many memories we make last forever. Even beyond our lifetimes. I hope to remain in all of your hearts as a precious memory, a beloved friend in your lives. Just as you all are to me.
As the days go on, i wish to learn more and progress further into this distant future of mine. May you all be there along with me or be waiting for me at the end of each road with your hands stretched out toward me as i grasp tightly and hold on. Let us walk together, never alone, down this gently lit road filled with the many adventures and trials that await us all.
Loving you all with all my heart, may you always be in my thoughts and spread warmth throughout my dreams.
– Hope ♥ இڿڰۣ-ڰۣ—
Wandering in the depths of my mind, heart, and soul. December 19, 2014Posted by Hope~Sama in Cafe Lounge.
add a comment
Taking a glance at the glass, the reflection in the mirror. The deeper i look the more i see. Won’t you tell me what i want to know? Won’t you say what i need to hear?—
So, i guess things started getting from good to bad to worse in a short time span. Once again i suppose it couldn’t be helped but there is really only so much i can do. However all of this going on right now is causing me to lapse into a depression that i’m struggling to get out of. Running away isn’t something i am proud of, not in the least. But i cannot help this feeling of needing to run in the first place.
Time and time again it ends up happening and it is very difficult to even escape. The tight grasp of reality tugging and pulling at my heart, body and soul is just unnerving.
I feel like i’m lying in an imbalanced mess of emotions coming forth from all directions possible, smothering me with the feelings that make me overwhelmed.
Although i might not be able to escape easily, i’m trying my best to overcome this and trying as well to not run away from my friends in the middle of it.
Why do i feel the need to hide from even things which i once deemed safe?
What is the reason why i fear this cold sensation that overcomes me, even though the warmth is so near?
There are so many things i can ask myself but really i might never know. All the answers i may seek to find, i guess its best that some are left a mystery.
All of the emotions that are overcoming me right now, a mixture of chaos just stiring in the air. It is so difficult to find the right words of what i would like to say… to feel.
Please don’t let me run away, don’t let me go even if i try. It isn’t what i want but i cant stop the sensation of wanting to.
I don’t want to experience the feeling of almost losing myself once more. I don’t wish to make the same foolish mistakes i once made in the past when things got too dramatic.
I want to be there, for everything..
As my emotions are stirred up in a flurry, i will try to overcome the things i once was not able to. If for you all whom i hold so dear and cherish, i would do anything.
May this night be peaceful and calm despite the tears that may fall randomly. May the smiles return and the warmth never leave. May this picture become like the ones we once remembered, the sweet scent of reminiscence.
Whispers from the Heart December 11, 2014Posted by Hope~Sama in Cafe Lounge, Hope's Game Diary.
add a comment
Like the slight breeze before the soon coming storm in the distance… Such as so are the whispers from my heart. Gentle yet Intense over time as the words begin flowing, i just pray they don’t carry you away~—
So its almost mid December now and it feels like so many things have happened.
As i am getting random bits of sadness strung across bits of happiness through situations with my friends, i am hoping that things will just start to look more positively from here on out.
The weather has been chilly and thankfully rainy (as we have been needing that so desperately) and i believe its going to continue at least through the rest of this week. It has been so long since i’ve been able to see my backyard almost fully green and lively with all of the wonderful plants i have. All throughout this year it seems like there was only suffering due to the lack of rain and intense heat. I am glad that there’s a bit of revitalization at least.
As this month continues on i proceed to prepare for a few more birthdays of friends coming up :3 It is actually a bit stressful to think about how i am going to go about doing all of this but i’m sure i will manage ^^;
I just anticipate their reactions when i give them gifts that i’ve been trying to plan out since like last month lol. I really hope they enjoy what i’m going to give them as much as i’m giddy just thinking it over.
Feeling like i have been getting closer to all of my friends, even just a little bit, has really made me feel glad. After many years of being sort of isolated from friendships due to problems and trials with other friends, i feel like i’m finally able to get close to people once again. And i am so grateful for it because if there was any time i needed it truly.. i would say now is the time.
My heart is ecstatic over all of this emotional overload and i suppose it makes me look a bit silly. Silly enough that some of my close friends just cant help but want to tease me just to see me flustered. I love them so much but lol it drives me crazy that they want to see me flustered so much. Oh well what can you do, i just enjoy seeing and hearing their smiles when they talk to me. I suppose my embarrassment is worth their happiness in the end. I don’t mind it because in a way, despite my shyness, i like the fact that they are playing around with me. It really made all of our bonds closer.
On the flip side of that note, i suppose with this new found closeness it also is a recipe for me getting hurt a bit easier. Because i think of them all so highly and it is very difficult for me to not take things to heart.. Even the most simplest things that may seem hurtful still get to me. Although i try my hardest to not let it, i suppose i cant help it and it still affects me in some ways. Because of this, there have been big clashes between ideals with me and a few of my best friends.. and because i don’t want conflicts i just try to sit silently. Despite it just being a rant and lashing out without reason, it still ends up hurting me even though i know there isn’t anything i can really do about it. I would rather just endure the moments of chaos than damage any of the bonds i worked so hard to build. I suppose that’s another issue with building bonds like these. They grow to be so strong but at times can be so fragile as well. I suppose its the fragile bits that worry and scare me the most because i don’t want to lose friends again, that is a heartache i have a hard time healing over time. I have lost many friends, some through unfortunate circumstances and others through things that couldn’t be helped. I just want to try my best to not lose anymore.
On another note, it seems as though my activity in Ragnarok might increase more due to all the new updates we’ve been getting @.@ Now i feel like i have to reach the new level cap and obtain the new skills that came out lol. Though i haven’t been talking about it much, alot of things have happened in RO for me this last year. Maybe i’ll do a highlight with pictures sometime soon but i need to search throughout my screenshots and replays before i do that.
Other than that i do have a new camera now, and its pretty nice. Since i was little i always wanted to have one of those Canon cameras like some of my relatives had. I like taking pictures of random things randomly, as well as taking pictures of things that i have made. It wasn’t until now that i actually have a decent high end camera with exchangeable lenses. I am so grateful and blessed to be able to obtain these things, i hope that this new camera of mine will help me capture more memories of things that i cherish. (and be able to look back at those exact moments. )
Here is to hoping that as this year comes to an end like the many years in the past, that more blessings will come all our ways. Thank you everyone, all my friends, all of those whom i cherish and love. Lets make new memories and watch them blossom as we reflect on the memories of the past in reminiscence.
The Sharp Words That Pierce My Heart of Glass.. December 6, 2014Posted by Hope~Sama in Cafe Lounge.
add a comment
..even the silence stabs so deeply… i wonder if this wound will heal or just remain as a blood stained memory..—
I don’t know what i am feeling right now.. i suppose maybe a slight despair? I am so confused with all these thoughts racing through my mind. I don’t even know where to start….
With the end of the year quickly approaching, it feels like things are happening crazy fast. I never thought i would feel so torn as i do right now. However.. i guess it cannot be helped.
I want “you” to know that yes.. you are still on my mind and.. yes, i have not slept yet. I just wanted to record what i feel before i rest. I hope i don’t have a bad dream because of this.. I don’t feel awkward because of the subject we were on. I felt awkward because i couldn’t bring myself to answer you with what was on my mind. I feel stupid because of it.. i mean yes it is very late right now but that was obviously a problem somewhere in that. I mean… you denied leaving for the night several times just shortly before that part of the convo simply because you wanted to make sure i felt better. I mean maybe im looking too much into this but i am pretty sure you left at the time you did for some other reason whether you will want to tell me or not. The end of that convo felt cold… unlike the usual sweet warmth that normally leaving on a happy note ends with. Clearly something is bothering you and i dont know what it is or even why. This has happened a few times before and at this point i think i understand that really when this “feeling in the air” changes to that coldness.. it usually means there’s a problem. I may not have been able to hear your voice or see your expression at that point of the conversation but i clearly felt something. I refuse to believe any other way.
Honestly.. aside from that, i mean i’m getting this same cold feeling come from various places…. my family and even other friends. I.. don’t know what is going on. Am i being cast aside out of defense on the opposing matter?
I am trying my best to make smiles and joyful auras around all of what we do. Though… i am guessing it is just one of those times where no amount of anything i do could change the outcome. Maybe i said the wrong things? Maybe i didn’t say what needed to be said? Maybe.. i’m just missing something and i’m looking like a derp and it causes the outcome to be “fed up” or “miserable”.
Whatever the case may be, it sucks… and i want to fix it.. Badly.
I truly hope that all the words i could have left unsaid (but didn’t) were not a mistake. I pray to God that it wont be a mistake. I don’t know how i would handle a pain like what i’m thinking could possibly be lying there. Maybe i’m being overly dramatic… but i surely hope i am. I suppose tomorrow will tell what lies in store for these issues i’m facing currently…
For now i suppose i have no choice but to rest in an uncertain slumber, awaiting a unknown feeling… an unknown reaction… this cliffhanger killing me… anticipating what may become of this new chapter that is about to begin.
Taking a Nostalgic trip in the past~ November 14, 2014Posted by Hope~Sama in Entertainment Room.
add a comment
Seeing a familiar road i walked down, upon approaching it makes the memories flood back to my mind..—
So here i am sitting here thinking over a few things. I don’t feel sleepy although it is about 2am now lol. Then i had the urge to look up something, the words “Ghost of us” just popped in my mind and i remembered there was a song i used to listen to by BBMak by a similar name. “Ghost of you and me” was the proper title but i thought it was odd that i would suddenly think of it, so i looked it up again. I ended up listening to it and singing along to the song as it was playing and that lead me to listen to various other songs i remember listening to so much.
Maybe i am feeling lonely right now, maybe i’m losing my mind. It is 2am and i’m thinking about songs like this, doesn’t that seem kind of strange? @.@
It is like i cant stop now. Maybe it will help me sleep? I mean i guess i don’t need sleep that much >>;
So i’ll just continue to listening to all these old songs, probably singing along to them as well to my hearts content. Hoping no one else will hear me because its past 2am.. xD
Then maybe, just maybe, i’ll figure out why i got drawn to this in the first place.
-hugs a plushie and continues onward in her journey of nostalgia with girlish glee-
A night out with friends~ November 12, 2014Posted by Hope~Sama in Cafe Lounge, Entertainment Room.
add a comment
Don’t you know? It is fun to hang out with you. I hope this lasts forever~—
So then, went to see a movie with Z—, her sister N—- and Tk. Of course shenanigans will follow us lol. We get there on time and when we are buying the tickets.. the time we were going to pick was sold out >>;;; (-shakes fist at 7:40 showing-) So we decided instead to go to the 9:20 showing.. but lol it was 7pm so… 2 1/2 hours of randomness until the movie starts. In the end we all decided to take one car out to the mall nearby and wander around lol.
(obviously, Tk was driving lol..) Anyways, when we got to the mall we forgot that Tk needed to use the bathroom and we walked already to the other side of the mall, only to realize that the bathroom was right next to where we walked in at. Soooo we walked all the way back there and after that headed into Best Buy xD.
We saw various funny things in there (lol random typo on a RC toy that said “Stabable” instead of “Stable”) After that we got some boba milk tea and proceeded to decide whether or not we should buy popcorn. After much thought we went for it and got the large bag (which i was saying would totally fit in my purse lol, i’d make it fit >>; ) When i saw the bag i kind of didn’t expect it to be that big >>;; plus it couldn’t even fold close, so we needed to eat some of it before even trying to stuff it in my purse for the movie lol.
When it was 9pm we started driving back to the theater. I managed to fit the bag in my purse and we made our way inside (lol the popcorn in theaters is unreasonably expensive ok?) After we got in, Tk went to buy a drink for all of us to share (i think it was like raspberry tea or something like that) and as usual after he bought it he started walking off not noticing us standing next to him lol. (He Always does this, we are like right behind him or standing not too far away from him and he looks around wondering where we are at. Never able to seem to find us lol even though we were either next to him or behind him the whole time.) As he started walking off a security guy walked up to me, Z— and N—- asking us for our tickets. Lol i admit i got a bit freaked out but Tk had our tickets so we had to try to flag him down before he wandered into the theater room without us and we end up getting kicked out >>;;.
We managed to get his attention and we walked in to see our movie, geez i don’t know why he questioned us in the first place anyways <<;;; Moving onward lol, we walked in and man was it full in there. Im surprised we found seats xD. We sat down and shared a few comments throughout the movie and credits. (lol those credits @.@) After the movie we all were thinking about if there was anything else we could do, it was about 11:30pm ish mind you, and decided since that it was rather late that chances are most places would be closed so we just went our ways and drove home. Met up on the RC and that was the night lol. But man the shenanigans that seem to follow us >>;;; Either way, it was fun/funny and im sure they had fun too.
Since this is Z— and her sisters final month here, i guess it will be rather eventful until the end. I don’t mind it too much, though i can say i was a bit depressed earlier today. At least i don’t feel so bad now lol.
I hope to hang out with all of my friends (especially you S——-) much more as the end of this year comes upon us all.
Thanks you all for being there for me, may we all have many more fun memories together <3
The Last Day of ‘Magic’~ Finale November 11, 2014Posted by Hope~Sama in Cafe Lounge, Entertainment Room.
add a comment
The friendship we have & the bonds we made, let them last for years from now. Forever to be remembered in our Memory Album~ —
So then, it has been a few days or so since spending that day at Disney. I will say it was rather fun (oh the shenanigans lol) and despite feeling the slight tiredness i had, i was able to stay rather awake through it all.
When i first met up with Z— that night i had asked her how her last day had went thus far, lol i guess she had an eventful day filled with people begging her not to leave. xD
Despite all that, the first thing we did was get ice cream lol. (In a mini kitchen sink) We shared that ice cream and then shortly after headed toward main street to watch the fireworks show. (dat blinding finale, like always lol)
After the firework show we began wandering around aimlessly and then went on the Alice in Wonderland ride (oh what fun lol spin spin take ALL the directions!)
Z— began talking about her AvP experience while we waited in line, lol that sounded really disappointing to her and it actually sounded so messed up even from my point of view >>;;
Lets see… after that i believe we started walking through various stores. (Obviously there is christmas decor and stuff Everywhere by this point lol)
Recalling those hilarious things we saw in the stores (namely the minnie mouse nut cracker and the Grumpy shirt, oh geez that was so weird >>;; )
In the end i ended up getting a dress lol (thanks to her discount it wasn’t That expensive <<;; but none the less i thank her very much for it) It is actually a color i don’t have, or at least i did not have for a while until now :x I really do like it though, its a nice memory and its my kind of style. (I finally have more things that match that cute little brown sweater i have now too lol, i think it will look cute with that dress *-* ) After we bought the dress we all wandered around a bit more, all the weirdo stuff we found in all the stores lol. (Among the many things being random weird derpy items with Woody on them and Tinkerbell looking like she works late nights >>;;; )
We played around with the shooting game, dodged crowds like a boss, and went on an almost seemingly endless search for the weird little costume tail sets that they had around in October.
We ended up finding the tails in the last store we went to in this tinnnnny little section, Z— tried to avoid it and play it off like we couldn’t find it at all but lol we found them anyways. Oh Tigger tail, She wouldn’t wear you but the thought of finding it and giving it to her was funny enough xD.
After the tail fiasco, that was pretty much what ended our trip. I know she had fun and so did i lol, i’m glad she could have at least one more night of enjoyment with us at Disney before she left.
Tomorrow we’ll be going out again to the movies to watch Big Hero 6. I’m sure that will be eventful too lol. (Even though i saw the movie already, i don’t mind watching it again xD ) I wonder what shenanigans will await us tomorrow. >>;; Especially since her sister is coming along. lol good times~
As always, i wish the best for all my friends and they can all have wonderful days.
Love you all <3
The last day of ‘Magic’ ~ November 8, 2014Posted by Hope~Sama in Cafe Lounge, Entertainment Room.
add a comment
The magic i feel with you transcends all of reality itself, lets make these memories last..—
So then, today was kind of off at a bad start. Yesterday i was feeling so miserable but i think today was a bit better even though i still have Soooooo many things i need to do. @.@
As it is i am getting ready to leave on my last visit to Disneyland courtesy of a good friend of mine. (Today is her last day working there before she moves to another state so i’m spending it with her tonight, i’m not sure how many other people may be there but i know i’ll enjoy it lol. Probably gonna embarrass me somehow but oh well >>;;; that’s what friends do i guess xD )
Despite the rocky start to today i think i’m finally a bit more calm.(Thank you S——- for comforting me last night and being there, i appreciate all the time you take time out of your day/night to listen to me. :< I know that you know all this already and i know that you’ll just say “It’s ok” but i want you to know how deeply appreciative i am of it despite it all. I wish there was more i could do for you in return, as it is i am glad things are looking brighter for you in your life and that i could be a part of that to help. Here is me wishing and praying for the best for you.) I was hoping to get more things done today but i had not had the chance to even attempt to due to needing to leave in a few hours for this last meeting at Disney. I am sure of course that other than today i will meet up with her a few more times at least throughout this month before she has to leave at the very end. I hope that she enjoyed all the time we were able to spend together though, and i hope she likes my parting gift as a symbol of our friendship. (This is considering my fingers work fast enough to get the more important part of it done lol, ugh i’ve been slacking :< )
I truly do wonder whats gonna happen once she moves, i mean i’m sure we all will stay in contact like we usually do (Via the RC of course lol) but yeah~ i can’t help but wonder either way.
Especially with the unfortunate events transpiring recently regarding another friend of mine, it feels like some friendships are sort of falling apart a bit ._.;
Granted i am still able to keep in contact with everyone (thankfully <3) but i still worry about it in the long run .-. There is not much i can personally do when the opinions of someone else changes, i cant always persuade people to change their opinions but it is still hard to accept. Other than all of that i guess, i just need to wait until tonight is over before i can really have an opinion about everything~ I’ll probably write my thoughts on that when i get back but until then i guess all i am really having are floating thoughts about this entire thing. I suppose i’ll try not to think of the bad things and just try to enjoy myself at this last day hanging out with her at Disney. (lol she treated me to going to Disneyland so much this year, despite not being there since i was like 14 or 15 i think i have seen everything Disneyland has to offer for quite sometime xD I am pretty sure i went on all the rides again >>;; Last time i did that was so long ago lol.)