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Lair of Memories – Archived Post January 1, 2003

Posted by Hope~Sama in Old Archived Posts(Xanga).
Wednesday, January 01, 2003
So many days so many nights what are we living for? is it for love? how about wealth? Or how about another… what ever it may be its not a long lasting thing, actually it can be its just not eternal, nothing can be eternal its just not gonna last that long.. maybe love but it depends on what kind of love…. nothing for another person will last eternaly unless its faith hope and things deep withn you. so much i wish i could say to many others but you know, im not on display here.. i know a few people who want to bottle me up or put me in a display box so people could only look at me but not touch me or get so close, to keep my mind pure just as it has been for 15 years straight. Im still pure at heart, pure spirited, and i have a pure soul. I have not thought truely evily or sick minded things not in a deep thought or for meaning it. I only play around just as any other person would do, im inocent really…. My neko truely took on my traits…. so inocent and pure she is a mirror image of me in a animal form, thats what many people think… My family and friends. Everyone is in my heart mind and soul, friends family and enemys alike, so they call themselves. I would ask for a day of peace harmony and joy to help me through but evil always makes her way in, just as hate makes her path so clear no crystal can match it… The both team up agenst me so often.. but they havent beaten me, in that case they are no match. Purity and Inocence goes farther than anyone thinks, its a secret hidden power within that can be used when needed, though its sad many people use it and lose it in many battles agenst many things because they feel there arre more better things out there beyond your barriers. Everyone has their barriers around them at all times, unless they let someone in and allow them to steal ones inocence and purity.. many have done so to helpless people and they lost their inocence without their own say so in the mattter… it goes way farther than sickminded schemes to lose ones inocence or purity…. Being manipulated in a certain way can lead to the loss of either one or both, but one must remember that if you lose one the other will be lost soon after because inocence cannot live without purity and purity cannot live without inocence. Many think both are the same thing but really they are different just like everyone in this world. everything is different, unique, its just that no one really notices these things right away…. Its like saying they may be of the same source but truely they are not fully the same, in some way they are different. Chemicals, people, animals, objects, feelings, emotions, thoughts, actions and so on. They may be in their own catagory but they are all differently thought, expressed, done, and treated. Everyday these things battle agenst one another so much and in so many different ways. I bet who ever is reading what im saying is getting pretty bored or annoyed with what i say. You can believe me or doubt what i say but do not call me a liar or tell me im wrong because everyone has their own unique/different thoughts about things, it is all done in their own special way. Anything can be done the same but there is a difference one how it became what it did, either how it was made to be that way or how it came out, really difference applys to everything. Not every creature of their same species or type are the exact same thing…. Though i really think im going off track and i feel like im expressing too much of my thoughts, i really dont wish to confuse anyone here because that would truely be sad then they would prolly not understand anything for a while till they untie the knot i left for them ^.^”….. So much to be said, No one is truely “Evil” and no one is truely good either but a person can have “pure good” in them. Just because a person has “Pure Good” in them doesnt mean they are truely good ^.^”, oh yes there is a difference. I am starting to think about the Pure Evil part, i really dont think anyone can be pure evil unless they are either 1) a living demon x.x …..nah scratch that, they coulda been good at one time and they still can be. its possable.. more so though the devil/satan/lucifer who ever you call that guy 2) some weird psycho person that wants to be bad… 3) or you are just some person playing the part and is really good at it. Really thats all i can think of that fits in the catagory Pure Evil but remember everything has a lil good in them ^.^, and for the “Pure Goodies” we all have a lil evi- i mean bad us ~.~”……i should make a quiz on this catagory.. i know who would get pure evil, lol nah they will get a moderate level i mean they cant be THAT bad ^.^” for the fact that i know they arnt some psycho from “Friday the 13th” movies or jokers that are playing the part like in “I know what you did last summer” movies one and two and “Scream” yep… those jokers, those movies make me laugh -.-” i have a odd sence of humor….. i laugh at “so-called” scary movies and at empty juice boxes (dont ask) not to mention Cardbord things that get hit by something whether or not its by a car or a human being stepping on them or just something dropping on it, i laugh more when they fly in the wind….. Just as long as they arnt cardboard cut outs of kawaii things i love or people that i care about because thats going over the line and i will get who ever started messing with the cardboard kawaii things…… *ahem* moving on…. this truely took alot of thought and alot of time because i just kept on writing what i was feeling and saying, not only seeing as well… **whispers** evil wheeled school chairs…… and evil school cardboard boxes… ah, lets face it everything at school is evil except our friends pals and also *gulp* enemys ^.^”…all teachers of the following subjects are evil…. *elementry teachers are ok sept for people like my third grade teacher (long story please dont ask..)

1)English (all english courses)

2)Algebra (only algebra1, we all know the certain teacher im talking about.”Tangsta da Gangsta” as he calls himself… the guy thats “forever 21”, never ages….. ew… i bet he likes the stor “forever 21” maybe thats why he always says hes 21….scary)

3) one teachers Geometry class (yep same guy… mr. “Forever 21”)

4) all PE courses (because of JMS pe im now scared… also the swimming stories from my Reimai…)

thats all the schol classes i can think of that are scary… moving on to scary characters….

1)Cloud Strife..(from FF7, also known as “Cloud Spyke Wall Runner” in my opinion)

2) Bit Cloud (yea the idiot from Zoids, the mirror apearance of the orignal cloud….)

3)”Cloudie” (this weirdo i know…he has blonde hair too…..more so yellow to me but hey what does it matter blonde, yellow its all the same to me..)

4)”Kagato Victor Lai” (whats more to say… he looks like kagato, acts like him, got close to me and called me “Ryoko” in a kagato voice.. yes fear the kagato….. P.S instant message him on “Krazlam” (AIM s/n) and say, “KAGATO!!!!” just as i put then sign on to another screen name (if you have one) if you dont have another s/n you can do this but you have to be pretty good at scaring weirdos, more better after you say “KAGATO!!!!” warn him three times, maybe he can notice the patterns, if not then he really is kagato…. a kagato that loves to ride the poor helpless and defenceless Chocobos…. *sigh* oh well a harpy will eat him someday..)

5) “Hatsuma Justin Waterman” ( doesnt the name say it all? hes a idiot as well as a despirate emotionless love luster… make up any lie to get a girl, even if she hates him… i think he went as far as going to guys… kagato must be somewhere in that situation… All i know is that you dont know anything about annoyance and fear untill you met him….. in you met both him and “Kagato Victor”, may god bless your soul! As for the others such as me and a few others, (thank god) we have seen the most horid and scaryest things…. luckly i only had to deal with them for a year….. but it was pure hell the first second i saw them… and im sure i spoke for everyone when i said that…P.S luckly he has no s/n that i know otherwise i would be dying and rotting here on the keyboard. I think theres a E-mail addy floating somewhere out there with his horid and gruesome name….)

6) “Hatsuma Dean” (he too has earned the name Hatsuma for his annoyance and almost “trying” to run me over with a “wheeled school chair” all i know is that i need to by/rent a few straight jackets oh and some iron plates for mouthes ^-^!!!! i dunno if he knows what the internet is…if he doesnt thats good but if he does i dare not ever want to see HIS computer…..)

7) Clouds from a game called “Star Sweep” (darn all those clouds…… lets just say i dislike all clouds “EXCEPT” the ones in the sky, unless they are shapped like any of the clouds i mentioned above………)

8)the Fake and Changed “Sydney Losetarot” *aka Syd (i really dont care if i spelled his name wrong, him and his freaky pink skirts O.o”………and the scary thing is…Hes not gay *gasp*)

Nee i shall add to that list later…….. thats the first thing i actually got through in the first day (but actually second in about a hour not wait, half hour) of the new year, 2003…! And now a random story i wrote EARLY this morning ^.^”

January 1st 2003, 12:30 AM

One second im here the other im over there… what does it matter? am i hyper or is it just some sort of reaction or emotion im feeling that i just need to express? Ah… oh well, the beginning of what one says? the beginning of the end? hahahahaha well maybe so because you know how i am when i talk, once i start i cannot stop because it just goes that way and thats how i am because its just the way things are and that how i have been and acted ever sence i was a lil girl but isnt that funny because i bet you cant get me to shut up or close my mouth and so forth… but if you must blame anything blame that darn chocolate for goodness sake because its no one elses fault… no, wait i believe the correct name of it was a”Rum Ball” oh and i bet you really wanna’ yell at me for eating it huh?well i couldent resist, after all it WAS chocolate….

….and always remember! When you give me chocolate make sure you can handle me after i eat it because the only people that were able to were my family and my Reimai “Cassie” but only by a thin line ^.^””…..

Posted 1/1/2003 11:22 PM


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