jump to navigation

Conversations in the group chats- November 13, 2016

Posted by Hope~Sama in Cafe Lounge, Entertainment Room.
Tags: , ,
add a comment

And here we have a special edition of, “Conversations in the group chats”. A random collection of amusing and interesting quotes and conversations among either me, my friends, me and my friends, or just randomness in our group chats.

Today’s highlight is:

ZT – Yesterday at 1:42 PM
Got my first crazy of the day.
Some lady says that the tables are so dirty, she thinks she got herpes.

RD – Yesterday at 1:45 PM
She got herpes from the table? Did she drop trow and scootch on it?

ZT – Yesterday at 1:47 PM
I guess my cleaning the tables gave her herpes. :U

X – Yesterday at 2:12 PM
you should have said to her… congratulations for having the gift that keeps on giving -w-;;
or… “Congratulations!!! you won!!”



Taking a Nostalgic trip in the past~ November 14, 2014

Posted by Hope~Sama in Entertainment Room.
add a comment

Seeing a familiar road i walked down, upon approaching it makes the memories flood back to my mind..

Currently Feeling..:

A bit lonely

So here i am sitting here thinking over a few things. I don’t feel sleepy although it is about 2am now lol. Then i had the urge to look up something, the words “Ghost of us” just popped in my mind and i remembered there was a song i used to listen to by BBMak by a similar name. “Ghost of you and me” was the proper title but i thought it was odd that i would suddenly think of it, so i looked it up again. I ended up listening to it and singing along to the song as it was playing and that lead me to listen to various other songs i remember listening to so much.
Maybe i am feeling lonely right now, maybe i’m losing my mind. It is 2am and i’m thinking about songs like this, doesn’t that seem kind of strange? @.@
It is like i cant stop now. Maybe it will help me sleep? I mean i guess i don’t need sleep that much >>;
So i’ll just continue to listening to all these old songs, probably singing along to them as well to my hearts content. Hoping no one else will hear me because its past 2am.. xD
Then maybe, just maybe, i’ll figure out why i got drawn to this in the first place.
-hugs a plushie and continues onward in her journey of nostalgia with girlish glee-

A night out with friends~ November 12, 2014

Posted by Hope~Sama in Cafe Lounge, Entertainment Room.
add a comment

Don’t you know? It is fun to hang out with you. I hope this lasts forever~

Currently Feeling..:


So then, went to see a movie with Z—, her sister N—- and Tk. Of course shenanigans will follow us lol. We get there on time and when we are buying the tickets.. the time we were going to pick was sold out >>;;; (-shakes fist at 7:40 showing-) So we decided instead to go to the 9:20 showing.. but lol it was 7pm so… 2 1/2 hours of randomness until the movie starts. In the end we all decided to take one car out to the mall nearby and wander around lol.
(obviously, Tk was driving lol..) Anyways, when we got to the mall we forgot that Tk needed to use the bathroom and we walked already to the other side of the mall, only to realize that the bathroom was right next to where we walked in at. Soooo we walked all the way back there and after that headed into Best Buy xD.
We saw various funny things in there (lol random typo on a RC toy that said “Stabable” instead of “Stable”) After that we got some boba milk tea and proceeded to decide whether or not we should buy popcorn. After much thought we went for it and got the large bag (which i was saying would totally fit in my purse lol, i’d make it fit >>; ) When i saw the bag i kind of didn’t expect it to be that big >>;; plus it couldn’t even fold close, so we needed to eat some of it before even trying to stuff it in my purse for the movie lol.
When it was 9pm we started driving back to the theater. I managed to fit the bag in my purse and we made our way inside (lol the popcorn in theaters is unreasonably expensive ok?) After we got in, Tk went to buy a drink for all of us to share (i think it was like raspberry tea or something like that) and as usual after he bought it he started walking off not noticing us standing next to him lol. (He Always does this, we are like right behind him or standing not too far away from him and he looks around wondering where we are at. Never able to seem to find us lol even though we were either next to him or behind him the whole time.) As he started walking off a security guy walked up to me, Z— and N—- asking us for our tickets. Lol i admit i got a bit freaked out but Tk had our tickets so we had to try to flag him down before he wandered into the theater room without us and we end up getting kicked out >>;;.
We managed to get his attention and we walked in to see our movie, geez i don’t know why he questioned us in the first place anyways <<;;; Moving onward lol, we walked in and man was it full in there. Im surprised we found seats xD. We sat down and shared a few comments throughout the movie and credits. (lol those credits @.@) After the movie we all were thinking about if there was anything else we could do, it was about 11:30pm ish mind you, and decided since that it was rather late that chances are most places would be closed so we just went our ways and drove home. Met up on the RC and that was the night lol. But man the shenanigans that seem to follow us >>;;; Either way, it was fun/funny and im sure they had fun too.
Since this is Z— and her sisters final month here, i guess it will be rather eventful until the end. I don’t mind it too much, though i can say i was a bit depressed earlier today. At least i don’t feel so bad now lol.
I hope to hang out with all of my friends (especially you S——-) much more as the end of this year comes upon us all.

Thanks you all for being there for me, may we all have many more fun memories together <3

The Last Day of ‘Magic’~ Finale November 11, 2014

Posted by Hope~Sama in Cafe Lounge, Entertainment Room.
add a comment

The friendship we have & the bonds we made, let them last for years from now. Forever to be remembered in our Memory Album~

Currently Feeling..:

Happy and Grateful

So then, it has been a few days or so since spending that day at Disney. I will say it was rather fun (oh the shenanigans lol) and despite feeling the slight tiredness i had, i was able to stay rather awake through it all.
When i first met up with Z— that night i had asked her how her last day had went thus far, lol i guess she had an eventful day filled with people begging her not to leave. xD
Despite all that, the first thing we did was get ice cream lol. (In a mini kitchen sink) We shared that ice cream and then shortly after headed toward main street to watch the fireworks show. (dat blinding finale, like always lol)
After the firework show we began wandering around aimlessly and then went on the Alice in Wonderland ride (oh what fun lol spin spin take ALL the directions!)
Z— began talking about her AvP experience while we waited in line, lol that sounded really disappointing to her and it actually sounded so messed up even from my point of view >>;;
Lets see… after that i believe we started walking through various stores. (Obviously there is christmas decor and stuff Everywhere by this point lol)
Recalling those hilarious things we saw in the stores (namely the minnie mouse nut cracker and the Grumpy shirt, oh geez that was so weird >>;; )
In the end i ended up getting a dress lol (thanks to her discount it wasn’t That expensive <<;; but none the less i thank her very much for it) It is actually a color i don’t have, or at least i did not have for a while until now :x I really do like it though, its a nice memory and its my kind of style. (I finally have more things that match that cute little brown sweater i have now too lol, i think it will look cute with that dress *-* ) After we bought the dress we all wandered around a bit more, all the weirdo stuff we found in all the stores lol. (Among the many things being random weird derpy items with Woody on them and Tinkerbell looking like she works late nights >>;;; )
We played around with the shooting game, dodged crowds like a boss, and went on an almost seemingly endless search for the weird little costume tail sets that they had around in October.
We ended up finding the tails in the last store we went to in this tinnnnny little section, Z— tried to avoid it and play it off like we couldn’t find it at all but lol we found them anyways. Oh Tigger tail, She wouldn’t wear you but the thought of finding it and giving it to her was funny enough xD.
After the tail fiasco, that was pretty much what ended our trip. I know she had fun and so did i lol, i’m glad she could have at least one more night of enjoyment with us at Disney before she left.
Tomorrow we’ll be going out again to the movies to watch Big Hero 6. I’m sure that will be eventful too lol. (Even though i saw the movie already, i don’t mind watching it again xD ) I wonder what shenanigans will await us tomorrow. >>;; Especially since her sister is coming along. lol good times~

As always, i wish the best for all my friends and they can all have wonderful days.
Love you all <3

The last day of ‘Magic’ ~ November 8, 2014

Posted by Hope~Sama in Cafe Lounge, Entertainment Room.
add a comment

The magic i feel with you transcends all of reality itself, lets make these memories last..

Currently Feeling..:

Anticipation and Embarrassment

So then, today was kind of off at a bad start. Yesterday i was feeling so miserable but i think today was a bit better even though i still have Soooooo many things i need to do. @.@
As it is i am getting ready to leave on my last visit to Disneyland courtesy of a good friend of mine. (Today is her last day working there before she moves to another state so i’m spending it with her tonight, i’m not sure how many other people may be there but i know i’ll enjoy it lol. Probably gonna embarrass me somehow but oh well >>;;; that’s what friends do i guess xD )

Despite the rocky start to today i think i’m finally a bit more calm.(Thank you S——- for comforting me last night and being there, i appreciate all the time you take time out of your day/night to listen to me. :< I know that you know all this already and i know that you’ll just say “It’s ok” but i want you to know how deeply appreciative i am of it despite it all. I wish there was more i could do for you in return, as it is i am glad things are looking brighter for you in your life and that i could be a part of that to help. Here is me wishing and praying for the best for you.) I was hoping to get more things done today but i had not had the chance to even attempt to due to needing to leave in a few hours for this last meeting at Disney. I am sure of course that other than today i will meet up with her a few more times at least throughout this month before she has to leave at the very end. I hope that she enjoyed all the time we were able to spend together though, and i hope she likes my parting gift as a symbol of our friendship. (This is considering my fingers work fast enough to get the more important part of it done lol, ugh i’ve been slacking :< )

I truly do wonder whats gonna happen once she moves, i mean i’m sure we all will stay in contact like we usually do (Via the RC of course lol) but yeah~ i can’t help but wonder either way.
Especially with the unfortunate events transpiring recently regarding another friend of mine, it feels like some friendships are sort of falling apart a bit ._.;
Granted i am still able to keep in contact with everyone (thankfully <3) but i still worry about it in the long run .-. There is not much i can personally do when the opinions of someone else changes, i cant always persuade people to change their opinions but it is still hard to accept. Other than all of that i guess, i just need to wait until tonight is over before i can really have an opinion about everything~ I’ll probably write my thoughts on that when i get back but until then i guess all i am really having are floating thoughts about this entire thing. I suppose i’ll try not to think of the bad things and just try to enjoy myself at this last day hanging out with her at Disney. (lol she treated me to going to Disneyland so much this year, despite not being there since i was like 14 or 15 i think i have seen everything Disneyland has to offer for quite sometime xD I am pretty sure i went on all the rides again >>;; Last time i did that was so long ago lol.)

♥~♪ Do the Nyan-Nyan ♪~♥ April 21, 2011

Posted by Hope~Sama in Entertainment Room.
add a comment

When you need a little uplifting, rely on cute things

Currently Feeling..:

A little depressed

I do wish for a lot of things but i guess theres just some things that will always feel out of your grasp. I ponder these things all the time but i guess its hard to not let things get the best of me.

Like lately for example, ive been not doing so well in terms of my health. Sometimes i wonder if people really care if something bad happens to me, but thats just negativity taking over my mind.. I do know people care about me but sometimes i just dont realize who does or sometimes i forget. I suppose you could say im going on a depressive trip here because of how much my heart aches from all the troubles ive gone through. I dont feel like im being greedy or selfish at all, i give my all for everything that i cherish. I do try my best and i would give anything and everything just for things to be alright. I mean we all have our ups and downs in life but to me i just feel like im being pushed down way too far and its much too hard for me to climb back up out of that hole i fell into long ago. Sometimes i just dont know whats gonna become of anything in my life but i keep pressing on and hoping for the best even if that best never comes.. I’ll always be waiting and trying. Always.

From all these thoughts ive been having while having to stay put and not over exert myself i guess it gets a bit lonesome and i begin to get worry thoughts.. I hope this passes soon, im just so torn about everything im not sure how much more i have to suffer. I want so much but yet its just very little, i hope one day my dreams and desires will come true.. But even so i guess i shouldnt really think much of it.

I suppose out of all this i try to uplift myself and make myself smile even if its just a little. I guess thats how i found the following video.

It might be random but i guess it made me feel a bit more calm to see something cute and funny, i hope to feel better soon.

So do watch the following just for the heck of it, its so cute and addicting it might make you wanna dance to it and sing it randomly out of nowhere.

I will keep praying and hoping for the best, thank you to those who do care but im just blind to see it right now. And i am sorry if that is the case, just know i care too and appreciate your concerns.


♪♪Nyannyanyanyanyanyanyanyanyanyanyanyanyanyanyany anyanyanyan~~♪♪♪

A little piece of information :x March 4, 2011

Posted by Hope~Sama in Entertainment Room.
add a comment

Review for Jitbit – Macro Recorder

Currently Feeling..:

Ima Testing!

This doesnt seem to unusual for me since on my older Blog/Webjournal i used to have likes and dislikes for various products i used. So i’ll break it down lol.
The program im gonna be talking about is a Macro Recorder from Jitbit. I dont know, i actually thought it might be worthy speaking about it because it actually has been pretty helpful in situations where constant clicking would kill my finger lol. So anyways onward with this.

Alright then, so i thought i would do a review for this thing. I have been using this program for a little while and testing it out (making it do wacky things for my amusement) and making it run tasks for me randomly when i want them. And so far out of most of the macro programs i have tried, this one is by far most the best i have used. I mean.. i had limitations with the older ones and half the time they would bug out during tasks and it was quite irritating. Usually i had to recreate the recorded file if it did something stupid and try to make it run more smoothly. This program however i have noticed from the first time around i had not needed to really remake any recordings as they worked accurately and fairly well from the first recording (unless i do something stupid and make it run the wrong task by accident or make it select incorrect options of course >>; )
Anyways, really i would recommend this program over most others since in my opinion it seems reliable and stable for pretty much anything you want to throw at it. I have yet to test it with more complex tasks but im sure i can do it with ease so long they work the first time around. (I like that i can remove actions easier in here too without worrying about accidentally deleting more than i needed to then have to go back and figure out what the heck happened lol…)
So yes~ I think this program is worth trying out even if its just for fun. I mean half the things i do on it are purely for fun anyways xD
If you are interested in looking it up, here’s a link to the product. Enjoy~

Jitbit – Macro Recorder

Time after Time~ March 4, 2011

Posted by Hope~Sama in Entertainment Room.
add a comment

When life hits you the hardest.. What can you do?

Currently Feeling..:

A Bit Lonely

So its been a while since I’ve been able to make a post. I would say its not so bad if not for the fact that i was sick recently. Well i wouldn’t really call it “sick” but basically i was having some breathing problems and had to stay away from the comp for a while. I am feeling a lot better than i was before but i still need to watch out for the issue.

I had not been able to talk much about what has happened since my last post, but I’ll try to make up for it lol. I was able to go to the Pokemon B&W Tour on Feb 20th and it was pretty fun. I managed to get some stuff while i was there too, there was also a free showing of the most recent Pokemon movie in the theater. But firstly I’ll start off with how the day began and ended and show pictures of the outing :3

Pokemon B&W Tour Day–

Well i managed to get to the mall at 10am and i thought that there wasn’t going to be that many people there already but i was terribly wrong lol. There already was a decently sized line waiting there so i figured I’ll start out at the information booth then work my way around. That was a good idea really because that is where they were handing out the movie tickets. The movie showings started from like 10 or 11am and ended on its last showing at 6pm, originally i figured oh well i hope we get the early showing since it would be nice but i was pretty shocked to find out that when i made it up to the window they began to hand out the tickets for the Last showing. I wondered how in the world did they manage to run out of tickets so fast?? But then again there were a lot of people there so i suppose it makes sense, i was just happy i was able to make it in time to get a ticket before they all ran out lol. I felt bad for all those people who showed up late for the event since they pretty much missed out on a lot of things but i am happy i got my full days worth there lol.

Anyways, after i got my tickets i was wandering around to see where everything was. Figured while i was waiting i could pick up my event celebi since by that time it was like close to 10:30am. Turned out that game stop didn’t open until 11am >>; so i had to wait before i was able to get anything (Which of course i was going to get celebi on all 3 of my games since i figure I’ll probably trade one to B&W when i get it and then keep the other two on my other games to mess around with.)  While i was waiting it wasn’t so bad but i didn’t realize that most of everything was going to start at 11am, so i was best off waiting in one of the lines to begin my “tour”. Apparently there was a stamp rally so i figured i should get that fast before other people show up and lines get crazy, there were also prizes given away from completing the stamp rally so i wanted to make sure i got something before they ran out of things to give lol. There were quite a few people that went in costume too, it reminded me of ani con.

Well by the time it hit 11am there was a huge line waiting to get the booklets for the stamp rally, i sure was glad that i decided to wait in line for that before it was too late.. The line stretched out around the back of the mall lol… My original plan was to rush through the stamp rally then try to do all the other things before it got too late. After i got my booklet i went to get a couple stamps then got my Celebi. As i managed to go through the stamp rally i was put into a tough decision on whether or not i should just go and wait in the line for the prize or try to collect the other prizes you get. I decided well I’m better off waiting in line for the stamp prize because that seemed most tedious to get and I’m glad i chose that >>; Besides while i was waiting in line i was able to see the “Meet the Pokemon” event and get some pictures of that lol. But man that was also hilarious xD you see… there was also a line to take pictures with the Pokemon (Which were people dressed up in gigantic costumes of the new starter Pokemon, Oshawott was such a camera hoar lol but it was adorable) The person that was trying to keep the line in order was i guess a midget? i couldn’t tell i wasn’t paying attention to that line since i was trying to take pictures from the other line lol. Anyways.. That guy was getting really pissed off and yelling like crazy lol i thought he was going to spontaneously combust or something. After i managed to take a few pictures of Oshawott and Snivy i was already close to the end of the line, unfortunately all the plushies were out of stock so i chose 2 stylus pens instead. After getting my prize i began heading out to another stand that sold Pokemon stuffs so i bought a couple things (2 figurines and a plush, so cute lol) and then began heading back to another area to kill some time since i was waiting for 6pm to roll around to watch the movie.

At that point i had taken quite a few pictures of some cosplayers and stands and i was getting hungry so i sat down in the food court and got some food while waiting and figuring out what to do next. When i was done eating i decided to put the stuff i got back in the car so I’m not carrying it around (that proved to be a bit of an inconvenience because of what happened right after that lol) So after putting the stuff in the car i went back in and got in another line which was for testing the new game. While i was there i ended up talking to the people who were in front of me, it was a boy and his father. The boy apparently had a Nintendo DS LL (the Japanese version of XL) As i talked to him i had found out that despite having the games (they were Japanese versions and i didn’t know lol) he wasn’t able to get the collectors celebi >>; now me feeling kinda like “Oh.. i have 3.. oh well maybe i can be nice”.. I decided to give him one of my celebi’s. That really made his day and that made me pretty happy that i did him a favor :x . After all that and playing the game demo we parted ways and i hope that the little gift i gave him would be the special thing he got out of that event. (Turns out hes going back to japan in June or something, his father told him that when they go back if they have a Pokemon event there, maybe he could give me one of the special Pokemon they get as a thank you :x Of course I’m not counting on it because I’m sure that’s a hassle but I’m just glad i was able to make someone smile lol)

Once i finished going through all the event booths it was already close to 6pm and so i began walking toward the movie theater. I decided well i guess i can sit down and wait in line for the movie. A bit more time passed and they finally let people in for the movie, as i sat down though the funniest thing happened. It was Pictochat time xD Yes i do not kid you, a lot of people in the theaters broke out their DS’s and we all had a big pictochat party. This was of course waiting for the movie to start, so it was rather entertaining lol. When the movie started everyone put away their DS’s and such, i must say too it has been a long time since i last saw a Pokemon movie in theaters. (I think the last one was Pokemon 2000? i cant remember lol) This movie was cute, i enjoyed it. I had gotten the plushie of Zorua xD and for once the “sad” parts of the movie had Nothing to do with Ash! which was another plus. After the movie was over i turned in my ticket stubs and got the usual “collectors card” but i guess they took a unique route to making the collectors card this time around since it is like 4x bigger than it normally is lol. Either way it was cute.

Annyyyywayyysss, after the movie that was pretty much the end of the day :x It was a day filled with Pokemon adventures and it was rather fun. It had reminded me of the last Pokemon event i had went to (Which coincidentally enough their Pokemon give away was also celebi xD I think it was for Pokemon Gold/Silver/Crystal) at six flags/magic mountain. The giant Pokemon person was pikachu lol i remember taking pictures of that event but i don’t think i have them anymore since it was on my old old camera. But yes reminiscent of old times.


(I shall add the pictures a bit later, i have to take them off of my camera first and sort them .-. )

Such is a life to Entertain~ January 19, 2011

Posted by Hope~Sama in Entertainment Room.
add a comment

Wandering Minds, what is this “Focus”?

Currently Feeling..:

Ahahaa Sharing is Caring :x

So then as im now a bit more awake i decided to run through my bookmarks and i saw a few things that made me think “Ooh yeah i remember why i bookmarked this lol”. So i decided to post a few things as i get to them.

First thing i found was the Pikachu version of Dango Daikazoku, that was just freaking adorable when i first saw it and it reminded me of a few things. Watching it again doesnt hurt :x

Like the Pikachu version, there is also a “Moemon” version of Dango Daikazoku. I thought that was kinda cute too lol

Another song thats been stuck in my head for a long time and i recently looked it up again. After all “im just a prisoner in paradise” ~

Until later when i search around my bookmarks to find more videos~

Lair of Memories – Archived Post August 25, 2004

Posted by Hope~Sama in Entertainment Room, Old Archived Posts(Xanga).
add a comment
Wednesday, June 09, 2004
*~Time Just Keeps Passing By..~*lol you guys know how much i love taking quizes ^^;; bare with meh!You're Perfect ^^
-Perfect- You’re the perfect girlfriend. Which
means you’re rare or that you cheated :P You’re
the kind of chick that can hang out with your
boyfriend’s friends and be silly. You don’t
care about presents or about going to fancy
placed. Hell, just hang out. You’re just happy
being around your boyfriend.What Kind of Girlfriend Are You?
brought to you by QuizillaMwee! o.o; lol… <.<;;;
Chocolate Pocky! You’re pretty normal actually.
Pretty blah, but still tasty, and you know how
to have a good time, even if those snobs out
there ARE riding around in their ferraris going
115 mph, chomping on those perverted banana
pocky.What Kind of Pocky are You?
brought to you by QuizillaMwee i love pocky xD… mm chocolate… >.>;;; ,(This picture makes my page scroll soo i finally decided to edit xD…)
You’re Element is Light. You are friendly, happy,
social, bubbly, and can brighten up any one’s
day. You are very kind and a real people person
because you have several friends (or atleast
should). You’re cheery nature makes you lovable
and your stunning looks are sweet and stand
out.What’s Your Element(girls)? (PICTURES)
brought to you by Quizilla

I always get light xP lol…

The day you went back to your house was the day you
made you final decision.. the on you want to be
with.. And you chose Ih’Kuaren. Although you
let Kirune-ra and Haiiro down, you still
remained close friends. Haiiro was recently
dubbed King og Hell (Satan was re-elected) and
is having a great time. Kirune-ra is attending
your school, but for some reason, they don’t
seem to mind him being a demon.. Ih’kuaren,
however, was turned back into an angel as soon
as you were given permission by God himself to
ask to. Ih’kuaren recently became a guardian
angel, and who is it he guards? You. The two of
you couldn’t be happier.

would an angel, demon, or pure evil fall for you 10 (final chapter)
brought to you by Quizilla

Woo i loved this long story quiz it was great xD aany ways i like the result ^^!

*~Its not the end already.. is it?~*

Well im sure you all are sick of me already xP, lol i know i know, i just had to say it o.o;; well anyways, im off to sleep now ^^! gimmie some feathers and orbs here ^^;!

Posted 6/9/2004 1:03 AM
Wednesday, August 25, 2004
*~Sometimes We Come Across Something Interesting~*Well i read this story and i thought i would share it with more people, its so sad and interesting, just sparks my mind really ^^; Hm i hope you enjoy it as much as i did, onward to the story =x!Here is the main website =x!! *Clicku!**~Story Time =x~*About four years ago, when life wasn’t so hard, and friends and good times
were all that really mattered…a young girl about 14 years of age lived
her life of simplicity. Her name was Leana. She was currently with someone
totally different from her, and not to mention, a pure heart breaker and
loser. But hey, life was good, she was young, and basically that didn’t
really matter. All that mattered was that she knew what it was like to feel
for a guy at that time, and to live her life of endless happiness with her
friends and family. One afternoon, she stood on the grassy hill after
school, embracing her so called boyfriend, Jerry. And at that moment, about
10 feet away, at the flag pole, stood a boy about two years older than
Leana by the name of James. He watched her gently hug her boyfriend, and
then slowly walk away, until he could no longer see her image. He never
knew what it was like to feel for anybody, however, a strange feeling
inside took over him. Something extremely unexplainable, and so confusing.
And he thought to himself,’One day, I just gotta meet her.’

“Hey James!” a boy called out. “why do you look all dazed off en stuff?”

“Ah nothin’ Jay, lets jes go home now,” James replied.

When James had arrived to Jay’s house, they sat down for some soda, and
James had totally gotten his mind off of that strange feeling.

“Damn, I forgot to go call my homegirl man. Can you hand me the phone
James?” Jay asked as he took a sip of his soda.

“Hello? May I please speak to Leana? This is Jay,” he asked.

Jay and Leana began to conversate, until he remembered to do some
chores..so he handed the phone to James.

“Here man, can you go talk to her for awhile? I gotta do some stuff for my
dad real quick?”

“Aight cool,” said James.

“Hello! Yeah hi this is James! Who’s this?”

“Oh, this is Leana,” she replied.

After that one conversation, Leana and James began to keep in touch with
phone calls everyday. Neither one of them knew what they looked like, or so
they thought. For James was totally clueless that that one girl he watched
from the flag pole the other day, was the very girl he was laughing and
talking with everyday. It had been weeks, and then months, and Leana and
James grew close, and told one another everything imaginable. And with this
bond, they became the best of friends. Still not knowing what they looked
like in person, James decided to visit Jay again after school, which of
course so happened to be the same school as Leana. James knew for a fact
that Leana went to that school, but still didn’t know what she looked like.
Till that day after school…

As James walked onto the campus, he stood by the same flagpole, and waited
for Jay. He watched the crowd of people, chatting about, and doing their
own thing, until he spotted that one girl he had seen that one afternoon.
He was so caught up by the way she carried herself, and how different she
seemed from the other girls. She was shy, mature, quiet, and simple. None
of that make up stuff all over her face. As he admired her, something
immediately caught his attention…

“Ey Leana, wassup!” a girl called out, walking towards the girl James was

“Wassup?” she said with a grin on her face.

‘Oh my god! Could that be Leana? The girl I’ve been talking to on the phone
with?’ James said to himself. He was so surprised.

He walked up from behind Leana, and tapped her on her shoulder and quickly
turned around, pretending he didn’t do anything.

Disturbed as Leana could be said, “How rude!” And all James could do was

He couldn’t believe that that girl he was so eager to meet, was the very
girl he had been talking to for quite awhile now…Leana.

He called her that day, and told her that he saw her. Leana was so

“Oh that was you? That one guy who tapped me on the shoulder, huh?” she

Inside, Leana and James felt something so weird, every time they talked and
every time they were apart. They felt something inside when they thought of
one another. But the feelings they felt, they let it pass, and denied it to
themselves, as if it were simply nothing. They wondered about these
feelings time to time, but never really tried to figure out what it meant,
or what it was. Leana and James told one another about their lives, their
fears, problems, and little infatuations over people every now and then,
but never the kept feeling inside for one another. One rainy day, Leana
called James up crying about losing Jerry. He comforted her so much, and
she felt so much better when he did. James was always there for leana, and
he never once let her down. That’s one thing she loved about him so much.
Not to mention, they were so much like one another, always making people
laugh, and always making each other happy. Some say that these two were
exactly the same, except different names, and the opposite sex of course.
Summer came and James and Lena spent more time with one another, and
finally got to see each other in person. They met each other at Jays’ house
one day, and Leana’s heart dropped when she saw James for the first time.
She watched him play on the computer, just as he watched her that one day
after school. When it was time to go home, James gave Leana his school ID
and she said her goodbye with a warm embrace to James. They both blushed,
and that same unexplainable feeling took over the both of them. Leana knew
then what that long time feeling she had been feeling all those times was. She
was no longerin denial. She liked James. The first person she told was her
bestfriend Lae, who too knew James. She was shocked! Days later, James was
talking to Jay as he said,

“Hey Jay, I think I like Leana.”

“Really?! Wow, that’s cool.”

From that day on forward, only five people knew, Jay, Lae, Leana, James,
and god himself. And it was up to fate to lead the both of them to their
destiny. It had been a whole year, and Leana and James still didn’t want to
admit their feelings to one another. They knew what was up, but never took
the risk to admit it. Until Leana hinted him out what she felt.

“I’m suppose to tell you everything right, James?” she asked him.

“Duh! Why? You like someone huh?” he replied.

“Uh yeah..sorta,” she said.

“Who?” he asked.

“Well, he has the same background as you, about your height, your age, and
you know him very well. You see him everyday,” she hinted out.

James knew then what that meant. He felt the same, but was so afraid to
show it, because he never had a girlfriend in his whole entire life. He
knew it was him, and Leana was so relieved telling him. Day by day they
flirted every now and then and admitted their feelings in ways only they
could understand.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~On October 11, 1996, James and Leana both officially started seeing
eachother. He was the most perfect guy you could ever meet in Leana’s eyes
to be exact. He was tall, handsome, caring, loving, and had a great sense of humor.
Just everything close to being perfect in Leana’s eyes. And his eyes, his
eyes were so warm, so sexy, so…WOW! And she was everything she thought
of him to James. Everyone said that they were the most cutest, and perfect
couple. And they were both so happy with one another. Everyone even thought
they’d get married someday. He did everything for, to, and because of her,
and she surely did the same for him. Their forgiveness, love, passion, and
care were endless for one another. These two were inseparable, and in love.
He always told her,

“You’re such a big baby…you and those big brown eyes of yours, and those
cute chubby cheeks…God I love you!” and kissed her lovingly on her lips.

“I love you too babe,” she’d always reply.

Two years passed, and James of course graduated and things began to change.
They got into many fights, and Leana began to feel the hurt inside, she
never ever felt before. James told her though, that throughout all this
negativity, he still loved her.

He took her hand one day, as she cried cold painful tears, and looked her
in her eyes and said,

“No matter what, through it all, this is it…there’s no one else but you.
I will always love you, and I will always end up with you..I promise,” and
wiped her tears away as he kissed her forehead gently.

James, began to change, and emotionally hurt her daily. Her sweetest and
most perfect man was slowly disappearing into someone she never knew. He
began to stop doing things for her, he stopped making her happy, and he
stopped saying sweet things. He stopped visiting her, and stopped calling,
and always chose his friends over her.

When they argued, he’d yell at her, hang the phone up on her, and leave her
with so much pain and nothing to do but cry. It was soon passed half a
year, and things gotten worse. When she tried telling him how she felt, he
just let it pass. He started lying about many things, and became so
unfaithful to her. He began to drink, which he promised he wouldn’t, and
hung out with his friends morning, noon, and night, and never had time for
her. James did things that his old sweet self would never do before. He
left her many times at home just crying, and didn’t even bother to see if
she was okay. Basically, Leana was in love with someone who seemed to not
love her back anymore. They were together alright, but didn’t seem like it
to Leana. It hurt to much inside, but because Leana loved him so much, she
never did let him go. She took the pain, and cried endless tears, and still
loved him through it all, while he was out breaking promises, and being
someone he knew he never was before. There never passed a day when Leana
didn’t think about him, worry about the relationship, wonder why he was the
way he was, or cried about the hurt. The pain he caused her scared her
heart deeper and deeper everyday. Her family was affected, her friends, and
even school. Everybody was worried about her. No one ever saw her smile
anymore, and if she did,it was only for a while. She hardly slept, and just
everything in her life fell apart. All because that one most perfect human
being who walked into her life, and who she loved so much, hurt her in ways
that could never be fixed. James basically left her out of his time, out of
his reach, and out of his life. He acted as if she wasn’t even his girlfriend.
She did as much as she could for him, though he didn’t see it, and
sacrificed her whole life for him. She did anything to make things work,
but he didn’t do much at all. She tried so hard to figure out what the
problem was, and why he hurt her so much.

“How can God give you the most perfect gift of your whole life to love, and
take it away as if it wasn’t yours to keep?” she asked everyday.

James became meaner and meaner, and it hurt her more and more. One day he
picked her up from school, and he was so different. She looked at him
slowly. His built was bigger, his lips…no smile, his voice so monotone,
and his eyes… She looked at his eyes through the rear view mirror, and
she began to cry. His eyes were so cold now, and that love, warmth, and
sweetness she use to see no longer existed. James wasn’t James anymore.
They didn’t speak a word that car ride home, and all she could think was

‘Why? Why was it like this now?’ She came home and cried her heart out.

All that played in her head was the days he always dropped by just to see
her, just to hold her. Now, he seemed as if he didn’t even want to hold her
anymore, touch her, or look at her. She blamed herself for all of this,
didn’t know why, but it just seemed like it was her fault. She lay in bed
that night reminiscing about the nights they laid together in bed, and he
held her close to his body, and never did let go. How she use to wake up
summer mornings, and he’d be smiling and watching her sleep till she got
up. Why was everything so hard now, and why did it hurt so much? She
remembered the sweet ring of his voice constantly telling her he loved her,
while they kissed, or just stared into each others eyes. She remembered the
days when he’d stroke her hair, and laid the most simplest, sweetest,
kisses on her lips. She remembered the days when he’d run all the way to
her house just to hug her tight, and she remembered the days when just
everything between them was so perfect. She cried helpless tears, and all
hope was just gone. She knew she was still so young, but regardless what
age she was, it still hurt. She felt that endless pain that shuts your
whole life and hope down. The point was, she felt it, and she didn’t know
how to make it go away. There were times where she’d think about leaving
him, but she imagined how worse the pain would feel knowing she lived a
life without him. Just as long as she knew she was his, and he was hers
made the slightest bit of feeling okay. Her tears fell harder, and her mind
began to shut down on her. All she could think was

“God I love you James! I miss your old self so much.”

One afternoon, James picked her up from school again. They were both
walking until Leana began to cry like usual.

“Why are you crying again damn it!” James yelled.

“Nothing…” she struggled to say.

“You know what I hate about seeing you all the time, is that you always end
up crying on me for no fucking reason! What the hell am I doing wrong now?
Shit!” he yelled again.

She tried to hug him tight, yet he resisted.

“I love you James, I’m sorry,” she cried.

“Yeah, whatever,” he coldly said.

James was so frustrated, didn’t know what he was thinking, didn’t know what
he was doing. A confusion of being with her or leaving her just rushed
through his head, as they walked towards the car. Suddenly, in the midst of
it all, a loud bang alerted them both. James didn’t know what it was. He
turned around to see if Leana heard it,

“Ey did you..NOOOOOO!” he cried.

Leana had been shot on her right side, as she lay bleeding, and gasping for
air on the street by James’ car. He ran overto her as everyone crowded

“Fuckin’ call 911!” he screamed, as tears began to roll down his eyes.

“Babe are you okay?” he asked, holding her in his arms.

Leana slowly reached to touch his right cheek, as she looked himin his
eyes, and lightly smile.

“Babe, I’m so sorry if I did anything wrong to make us the way we are now”
she struggled to say.

“Leana don’t even say that, you’re going to be okay! God someone help!” he

“You hurt me a lot James, but I still continued to love you. Because no
matter what, through it all, that’s it, there’s no one else…no one else
but you,” she smiled, and coughed as she gasped for air.

She began to cry, and still the pain she felt within her heart still struck
her like always. Flashbacks of their times together rushed through her
mind, and she could hardly keep her eyes open,as her helpless body lay
strongly against James’ chest. James crying harder than ever looked down
into her eyes, hoping she wouldn’t die.

“Babe I’m so sorry for everything, God I love you! You cant leave, we’re
suppose to get married remember? Remember babe, I promised, this is it,
it’s you that I’m suppose to end up with. Babe remember?” he cried.

“I know I know,” she nodded her head slightly up and down, as her tears
began to mix with the bright red blood upon her body.

James held her tighter and closer to his body.

“God please no, don’t take her away from me..” he whispered.

Leana’s hand began to slowly drift away from his cheek, as she struggled to
keep her eyes open.

“I love you so much James, and I wish I could’ve made everything all
better. Everything I did, and every tear I cried..I did it all
for you…everything…I love you babe,” she said, “I don’t wanna go, but I
have to, and God knows I love you. We’ll be together again babe. Remember,
because you said, we will always be together. We will.” She said slowly as
one last tear rolled upon her cheek, and dropped slowly on James hand.

Her eyes closed, “I love you,” she whispered, and Leana had passed away.

“Noooo!!” James cried. “You cant go..” he rocked her back and forth, and
tried to wake her up.

“Babe? Babe? Wake up..c’mon Leana. Please please…we can work things out I
promise, c’mon babe, we’re suppose to get married babe, wake up! Babe?
Please…” he begged.

He closed his eyes and rested his head upon hers as endless tears continued
to fall.

“God I’m so sorry I didn’t take care of you babe, I’m so sorry,” he cried as
he kissed her forehead.

All James could do was cry, and hold her until the ambulance came. As they
put her on a stretch, and placed a white blanket over her head, it began to
rain. James went down on his knees and looked up into the sky and cried his heart out.

“I LOVE YOU LEANAAA!!!” he screamed.

“I love you,” he whispered one last time.

From that day on, James knew there was nothing else he could fix. His life,
his love, was no longer there. And all he could think about was her smile,
and that one day she lay in his arms dying. He will always remember her,
and will always love her…. Because this is it, it was her, that he chose to
love for life. You see, life is never forever, and things come only once.
You don’t know how long you’ll get to keep things, and you’ll never how
long you’ll get to live. But as long as you know you’ve got something in
your life you love,and cherish so much.. make the best of it. Because one
day, when you least expect it, you could lose the most important thing in
your life you set your whole future for. Take care of things while their
still small, and most of all take much care of the people you love. Because
one day, it just mightbe too late to take care of anything, or even see
them smile again. Trust me I know… some day we will be…because we
promised we would.

*~As Much As Many Wish, Nothing Lasts Forever~*Well, That story brings a tear to my eye, no litterally >.>;.. *sniffle* yeah but the last part that got me puzzled was why she got shot, i mean it came out of nowhere x.o;;;… well i think that James guy deserved it o.o;; he didnt deserve her after all that ^^;;; Annnyyyways, i wont prolong this goodbye any further xD or should i =x! ^^;;; ah well a small little thing wont hurt ^^ hmm like.. Having a mini conversation with conscience when i was tired… observe xD
Hope: meh i feel funny..
Chibi Hope: indeed, thats because you are tired
Hope: i am not.. X.x;;;
Dark Hope: dont listen to the runt, sleep is for the weak..
Hope: i dont know what to think anymore
Chibi Hope: Hey im not a runt, you shut up before i shove a kiwi down your throat!
Dark Hope: make me..
Hope: eh?…
Chibi Hope: Ugh!! T.T;;;!!
Dark Hope: Whimpy runt >.>;;!
Chibi Hope: how dare you!
Hope:.. whats going on here..X.x;;
Chibi & Dark Hope: Nothing…
Dark Hope: you know maybe she has a point you look weird, get some sleep =/
Chibi Hope: EXACTLY MY POINT! O.o;;
Dark Hope: Pipe down runt =/
Chibi Hope: omg, leave me alone!!
Dark Hope: whatever…
Hope:.. ok thats it im going to sleep…
Chibi & Dark Hope: Oyasumi ^-^! >.>;;;!
Hope: *Falls over asleep*

lol well ok then, thats all you get for today xD… O.o; Ja Ne! *Poofs*

Posted 8/25/2004 2:00 PM
*~Something Has Happened~*lol.. i just realized.. I havent posted stuff in a long long time xD omg it was about a month ago when i last posted lol… man thats great how my brain stops to think about something so simple as that cause i was too busy thinking of other things that actually are hard to notice and give me headaches >.>;… yeah anyways that was a random thought lol…
Posted 8/25/2004 2:31 PM
Sunday, August 29, 2004
*~Sometimes its fun to be a little Random~*I stole this from Gre-kuns xanga xD…

Your love is… by ChibiMarronchan
Your name is… Hope
Your kiss is… breath taking
Your hugs are… gentle
Your eyes… burn into my heart
Your touch is… the only thing I desire
Your smell is… exotic
Your smile is… encouraging
Your love is… unique
Quiz created with MemeGen!

Dark shadow. Something has drawn you into darkness
in the past, and you’re now trying to get out
of it. The darkness is already inside you, and
getting it out will be hard, but if you try,
maybe one day you can be who you want to be
again. Don’t give in!!!Please rate ^^

What kind of dark person are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

Interesting, sounds like me =x….

*~Star-lit skys, Off i drift to the land of my dreams and desires~*Man im tired xD.. uhh, yeah i should sleep about now, i had to correct this sentence a couple times ._.;;; soo i should sleep. Oyasuminasai! =x Aishiteru Minna-San! xD uh yeah.. *Falls over to her floor and sleeps peacefully… kinda.. >.>;*

Posted 8/29/2004 2:29 AM